Tottaly Random

I look myself in the mirror...I hadn't realized that I was so pale, circles so dark and deep around my blue eyes, making them even more dramatic than they already are...
Sudently I feel like a 40 years old woman trapped in a 20 years old body. Vital, fresh, soft white skin, rose cheeks...Inside a weight that is trying to put me to ground, it's even hard to breath, I just want to go away, to sleep for days and only wake up when everything has gone away.
I feel like an idiot...well, I am an idiot, I just have been fooling myself all of this time (you idiot girl...)
I don't know what to think anymore, I don't even know if I want to cry, afraid of looking even more pathetic...
I need vacations of myself, I need another body and specially another mind and soul...
I need...well, I don't know what I need.