Suicide Note

Hey...
Im leaving this letter to the part of me who's dying and to you. Yes, you!
I don't even know how to star, what to say.
I am mad, I am really mad, and I believe I have the reasons to be mad, but once again, you turned it to you...I'm never allowed to be mad, because I am trying to be perfect the entire time, trying not to make mistakes but yeah, with my luck, everything turns the other way around, and the more perfect I try to be, the more mistakes I make.
So yeah, I am mad, I am mad at myself for being so stupid, so broken, so naive, so victim as you called me, so...so me.
I never showed you something that I am not, I presented myself to you exactley the way I am: childish, no chance for mending my broken heart, idiot, silly, unhappy and unbeliveably blind.
From now on, I'll stop being that person, I'll kill it, I'll kill me.
I'll be whoever you want me to be, I'll take care of you, I'll be always smiling, I'll feel no pain again, I won't argue about a thing, I'll stop thinking in myself (oh, I forgot this one above, SELFISH, a big, huge one, perhaps the biggest of all), I will sleep like an angel every single night and wake up with the most beautiful smile upon my face every single morning; I won't ever get exhausted again, I'll study every day, work on the weekends, call you at night to make you sleep like the little angel you are.
Do I sound ironic? Because I'm not being ironic, I really mean what I am saying!!!
No more dark side for me, no more tears, no more nothing...
Goodbye darkness my old friend...
Sounding too victim? How can I make it stop??
Gosh, I'm going mental...I WANT TO DIE!
So goodbye, and please, please never forget that, dark or bright side, I will, and do, Love you forever and ever, until not even a memory of me is left in this world.

Goodbye
I love you

Tottaly Random

I look myself in the mirror...I hadn't realized that I was so pale, circles so dark and deep around my blue eyes, making them even more dramatic than they already are...
Sudently I feel like a 40 years old woman trapped in a 20 years old body. Vital, fresh, soft white skin, rose cheeks...Inside a weight that is trying to put me to ground, it's even hard to breath, I just want to go away, to sleep for days and only wake up when everything has gone away.
I feel like an idiot...well, I am an idiot, I just have been fooling myself all of this time (you idiot girl...)
I don't know what to think anymore, I don't even know if I want to cry, afraid of looking even more pathetic...
I need vacations of myself, I need another body and specially another mind and soul...
I need...well, I don't know what I need.

What a Fool!

Wow...I really made a fool of myself...!

From Dreams...to Reality

I just wished...well, bad way to start something, let me refrase.

My world seems to be falling down. I just wished that everything was as simple as it was when I was a kid.
I can't wait to get out of this place, the more time i spend here, the more suffocated I feel, i fear that someday the air will actually end...
Melodramas aside, i just wished to get out of here, of this family who thinks it's so perfect and united but that it's everything but that, where a mother is always pissed and thinking about her own problems, a sister who is too childish, spoiled and sneaky and a father who thinks the world is pink and that everybody has to love each other and apolagize.

I am done with that mask of the perfect family...I hate being here, I want to run away, forget everything and star over again, new people, new house, fresh and clean mind, no troubles at all...I want...forget it...dreams are for silly people.

I already dreamed too much...for a 20 years old woman, I am pretty silly and naive...dreams are for who can actually make theire dreams come true...I have to learn to limit myself to live with what I have, with my disfunctional family, my corrupt class at college, my memories of stupid silly dreams, my messy room that I hate just looking. I'll never have the perfect house by the sea in a Greek island, I'll never have the dog, the husband who loves to play the drums, the twins, the world trips...I'll have a miserable job at some prison doing phsycological tests to murderes and drug dealers (this is, if I get a job, the way things are...) and with my luck, I'll keep living in this hatefull town until I die...I'll keep being dark, proud, misunderstood, stubourn, impossible to my family, fearfull to my friends and with an emty life...yeah...sounds preety good...

At least there is still one special person in this world who I love and who loves me back.

A Matter Of Time

I'm better than I was yesterday and way worst than I will be tomorrow...

Closure

Dear D.H,

A year is a long time...at least to realize a few simple things that I should had realized since the begining, starting with the fact that I couldn't had fell for you. A beautiful smile was all it took, a glance of the passion for your art came next, then the eyes, the hair, the mind, the voice, the dreams... I fell in love, dreamed with you, kissed you, promissed you...but then I realized. I realized like if a bulb had lighted up in the darkest of the rooms: we belong to different worlds. You have the luxury, the women, the parties, the money, the world at your feet... Me? I'm just...well, me! Since the minute I saw you, i thought to myself "That boy will bring me some trouble!" And damn, was I right?! Stop haunting me, stop making me love you! I have a life that I'm learning to live and adapt, I have people that love me, that I could retribute with so much more of me, but I can't, I can't because the piece of my heart you took is dead and dry, only being wet by tears and haunted by nightmares. Hopefully, I'll get some closure from loving you...hopefully...

Ausência

Peço imensa desculpa aos meus leitores por esta auência prolongada, com o primeiro ano de faculdade pela frente, a época de exames e fora outros problemas pessoais, não tenho tido muito tempo nem paciência para escrever, mas espero que daqui em diante comece a vir aqui com mais frequência.

Obrigada por passarem por cá e mais uma vez desculpem a ausência

Catarina

Sia - Soon We'll Be Found

Ultimamente esta música tem-me arrepiado bastante, espero que gostem tanto como eu!

Quebra

Olhei para mim lá em baixo...pálida, a respirar o mínimo possível, a controlar todos os músculos do meu corpo para não tremer, a engolir precáriamente cada enxorrada de lágrimas que ameaçava espraiar-se no meu rosto...voltei a mim..."Não respires, não te movas, não pestanejes, não podes quebrar!" Se respirar perco os sentidos, se me mexer parto-me em bocadinhos tão pequeninos que não passarei de pó, se pestanejar afogo-me em lágrimas... É isto que ganho por te amar mais todos os dias, por me querer desprender de ti e ficar cada vez mais presa...morro por dentro quando os teus olhos me dizem para viver mais um dia, só mais um, que estás quase a chegar... Maldito sejas, maldito o dia em que decidi amar-te com toda a minha alma...

Cursed

You are my curse...

Palavras de Bolso

Beijo

Saudade

Inocência

Mar

FAMÍLIA

Música

Idiota

Irmã

AMO-TE

Something Random

Why do you have to be so far? This isn't fair...

I miss you so much, the touch of your skin, the taste of your lips...I need you here, with me! I need you, gosh I need you!

You're my home, my harbor!

I wish i had something smart to say now, something rational, something beautiful maybe but i don't!

All I want is to be with you, in your lap, in your arms, cuddled in you, burry my face on your neck, cry all my tears, feel your warm touch, your calming heart, your soft breathing, hear your understanding silence, be at home for once!

I need you here, I NEED YOU HERE!!!

Today your abscence hurts more than ever, today I need to feel like a kid in your arms, I just need you...

I miss your soft colour sand hair, I miss your grey magical eyes, your glowing smile, I miss my golden boy...

I love you so much that...

Por vezes...

Por vezes gostava de sair deste lugar maldito que tanas desilusões me trouxe,

Vaguear por aí sem ter o peso dos horários, das satisfações,

Andar comigo e só comigo, sem ter mais ninguém no pensamento como companhia...

Por vezes gostava que o que sinto com tanta clareza fosse deveras real, palpável e memorável,

Que cada toque, cada beijo, cada sorriso e olhar tivesse um lugar na minha história, na nossa história...

Por vezes gostava de não cometer os erros evitáveis que tantas vezes cometo,

Pensar em consciência antes de agir...

Por vezes, gostava que me sentisses como eu te sinto,

Que soubesses quando preciso de ti como eu sei quando precisas de mim...

Por vezes...por vezes...

Por vezes gostava de expor em palavras o que sinto,

Todos os promenores, floreados, sonhos idiotas e descabidos...

Por vezes gostava de poder desligar-me de mim mesma,

Ser outra, noutro lugar, longe daqui, num que talvez não exista neste mundo...

Por vezes, gostava de não te amar,

Que não doesse tanto, que não me desse tantas esperanças idiotas...

Por vezes, tantas vezes...

The Scar on My Star

If I were a shooting strar,

Leaving a trace of dust and flames,

Without ever looking back,

You would be my scar

As permanent as laughter,

As deeply as the sea,

As vivid as a breath

That hurts inside of me

What a strange feeling this is

Passing by the ocean sea

Somehow it feels like home

But is too far away for me to be

And you're allways with me

My strange little scar

In the body of me

Craved into my heart.

Opiniões Precisam-se!

Antes de mais, bom ano a todos e peço desculpa pela minha ausência.

Mas hoje estou aqui para promover um projecto diferente que espero que adiram e que gostem.

Por enquanto, peço-vos só que deixem as vossas opiniões, e se tudo correr bem, logo se vê o que vem asseguir.

O que se segue é uma amostra da colecção de agendas, cadernos e malas personalizadas. Como disse, é apenas uma amostra, visto que podem ser feitas em qualquer padrão, com os elementos que mais gostarem.

Disfrutem e deixem as vossas opiniões, obrigada^^

PS: não sou eu a aritsta mas mantenho um contacto próximo com ela, foi ela que me pediu para promover o seu trabalho.