Today

So...today I feel exhausted, at the edge of my emotions and control.

I thought that everything was going on the right way, but then, there's a day like today's...

I just feel as empty as in the past, as well as tired, disapointed, hurted, wanting to cry my lungs out and to go back to that dark, dark place that once I knew so well...

Darkness, my old friend...

Death, my old confident...

Why do these emotions keep standing in the way? This anger, this...loneliness...

I want to sleep until this burden gets off my chest, until I'm nothing but clean and pure emotions, no evil, no sorrow nor sadness...no "me", not this "me"!

I keep talking too much, caring too much about people who already moved on and who doesn't care anymore...So why does it keep hurting, and hurting, and hurting, so much that I can't see peace ahead?!

It feels like drowning, like being consumed by flames, like falling from an edge that's been there for too long, so long that I didn't even noiticed I'd fell already...Death would be much easier than this, like a good, old, peacefull friend, that we can talk for ages, who's patient enough to not interrupt our speach and gives us the right answeres to our idiot questions without judging...

I was afraid of dying once...no, twice...maybe three times...and that's because I was stupid enough to try to bring death before it's time, I was young and foolish...

But now...I feel that there's no one out there for me, love is just like the opposite of everything I've hoped for, it only causes me pain and sorrow, and then, there I am again, at that dark corner, with my books, my music, with my solitude and worst of all...my thoughts...

But now, if death would come, free willingly, I would not run, I wouldn't be afraid and I would even thank her and asked her to leave me next to the one that teached me how to live...

Earth is hell...living is lonely, love brings nothing but sadness...