Is the fight done?

I'm in a crossroad...should I keep fighting?...

I want to die

I want to die...I mean, the part of me that was alive just died, so what's the point in keep living in this disgusting body?
"You only know what's important to you when you loose it" and it's so fucking true...
I hate who I am, you I've become. I hurted the one I love the most again and now it's done, she doesn't want anything else with me again...I lost a friend, a lover, my everything...
I just want to die...now that I'm alone, what's the point in living? I'm broke, I'm a piece of shit and all I know is how to hurt people I love...my mother hates me because I am a terrible daughter, my family has no hope in me, I have no real friends I can trust or that can be called "friends"...so I am alone and with nothing to live for...
This pain in my head, in my heart is so strong, so...it's eating me alive and I just want to die at once! I can't even put it in words...I just want it all to end for good! Nobody would miss me, not even her, because she hates me with all of her strenghts...I love her but she has all the right to hate me after what I've done...so even her wouldn't miss me. My parents woud see it as bless, my "friends" wouln't even notice and she...well, like she said, she would hate me even more and forget me...so if I am not important to anyone, not even to the person who I care the most and i didn't knew how to treasure...what's the point in living? I am nobody to everyone, I'm disapointed with my life choices and there's no turning back.
I don't want to be who I am, I've tried to change but it's now proved that I can't, so what's the point in living like the monster I am? I already lost who was important to me...one of them died and the other one I hurted so bad that all she want's to do is to forget me and erase me from her heart!
I don't want to keep living in here, in this body, with myself, with my head!

I'M DISGUSTING!!!