Dark Blood Red and Black

She dreamed in shades of dark blood red and black

Like silk floating in pure dark waters.

A room full of nothing,

An echo of a raven somewhere under the brightness of the Moon.

A scream of release and pure madness...

Pure, dark, morbid, full and raw

An empty, hollowed mind, gets filled with thoughts about night, death and blood

A war takes place inside her, a hidden door behind her eyes opens, only to let go all the love inside her, all the pain and all the memories of those who were left behind.

The dagger feels cold, but it's perfect as the snow, stainned for all the blood red and black shades that she's dreaming about.

Ghosts and wolves never leave her side, guiding her, protecting her patiently...

Blinded by the Moon, bare feet across the graveyard, black dress floating arround her, beasts chasing her quietly.

Danger never scared her, safty and warm yes, but not danger, not pain and definetly not darkness...

It's quiet in the darkness, cold, but safe, lonely, where madness can be free and there's no one there to judge it.

Dark blood red and black...the colours of her path.

Today

So...today I feel exhausted, at the edge of my emotions and control.

I thought that everything was going on the right way, but then, there's a day like today's...

I just feel as empty as in the past, as well as tired, disapointed, hurted, wanting to cry my lungs out and to go back to that dark, dark place that once I knew so well...

Darkness, my old friend...

Death, my old confident...

Why do these emotions keep standing in the way? This anger, this...loneliness...

I want to sleep until this burden gets off my chest, until I'm nothing but clean and pure emotions, no evil, no sorrow nor sadness...no "me", not this "me"!

I keep talking too much, caring too much about people who already moved on and who doesn't care anymore...So why does it keep hurting, and hurting, and hurting, so much that I can't see peace ahead?!

It feels like drowning, like being consumed by flames, like falling from an edge that's been there for too long, so long that I didn't even noiticed I'd fell already...Death would be much easier than this, like a good, old, peacefull friend, that we can talk for ages, who's patient enough to not interrupt our speach and gives us the right answeres to our idiot questions without judging...

I was afraid of dying once...no, twice...maybe three times...and that's because I was stupid enough to try to bring death before it's time, I was young and foolish...

But now...I feel that there's no one out there for me, love is just like the opposite of everything I've hoped for, it only causes me pain and sorrow, and then, there I am again, at that dark corner, with my books, my music, with my solitude and worst of all...my thoughts...

But now, if death would come, free willingly, I would not run, I wouldn't be afraid and I would even thank her and asked her to leave me next to the one that teached me how to live...

Earth is hell...living is lonely, love brings nothing but sadness...

Idiot

I'm an idiot...I keep believing that there's someone out there meant for me, when in fact, I felt all along that I meant to be alone!

I promissed myself that I woundn't fall in love again because I already know the result and this time, well, it wasn't different...

Everything about him was simply amazing: the smile, the perfume, the body, his sense of humor, his presence...I wanted more, I wanted to be closer, to just hold him, kiss him and telling him sweet things on his ear.

I kept ignoring the signs, so I ended up loosing what I never even had the chance to have...

Oh but screw it, this was the last time this happened. This was the last time I showed my feelings, from this day forward, I'll keep them locked, well locked.

How could I be so stupid to the point of believing in love again when all love brought me, so far, was disapointment and pain...so much pain...

I'm just done, I feel numb right now, but I'm done with love and it's fantasies, it's illusions, with it overall...

I'm just a total idiot.

Filha do Mar

Acordei estendida na Areia, vestida de Algas e Conchas. O Sol ainda estava baixo, mas queimava já a pele que fora beijada pelo Sal.

Fui entregue pelo Mar, estendida nos braços das Ondas, de cabelos emaranhados e de pele despida pela Lua.

Não entendo o motivo de vinda a Terra. Aqui fora falta-me o ar...

No Mar tudo é mais denso, mais cheio, mais vital...Aqui em cima, tudo é mais...menos...

Tenho saudades dos peixes, das criaturas marinhas cheias de vida e sorrisos, dos murmúrios do meu Mar, que me embalava de noite quando a Lua ia alta e as Estrelas contavam histórias de encantar.

A Areia é áspera, rude, o Sol demasiado violento para olhos dados pelo Mar e pela Chuva. Demasiado tempo cá em cima irá secar-me os olhos, ressequir-me a pele e apagar os murmúrios do pai Mar. As Estrelas deixarão de contar histórias entre sorrisos desmesurados, e a Lua não terá vida nem dançará para entreter as criaturas.

Quem prefere viver aqui em cima, quando lá em baixo tudo é paz, harmonia e silêncios repletos de amor? Uma catedral infinita, onde cidades se perderam, onde Homens trocaram a vida mundana pela calma oferecida pelo Mar e onde o Ar é mais puro, mais limpo e mais doce.

Sente-se tal leveza que é impossível deixar de dançar com as algas todas as noites.

É no Mar gelado, sob o olhar atento da Lua e as Estrelas como testemunhas, que os amantes preferem fazer amor, onde o frio os torna inseparáveis e a doçura da pele se torna salgada e sarapintada pela música das Ondas.

Pai Mar, um dia voltarei a mergulhar nas tuas profundezas e sentirei toda a paz que não sou capaz de sentir cá em cima, onde a tua amante Areia é promiscua e cheia de malícia.

All over again

Honestly...I don't know what else to do...

I'm tired, exhausted, dead...when I thought that everything was starting to get right, it comes a day and everything gets back to where it was...

Yes, I'm the dumb one, it's my fault...

I just want to sleep for years, forget who I am, who I was...

I want to stop being, to stop feeling...there is nothing that I do that isn't seen as bad thing, as a bad action, as bad!

I'm done, done with everything, done fighting, done trying to smile, done controling tears and feelings, done with me!

Everything that I do, every minute I try being happy, it's not full...I feel guilty for trying to be happy.

I feel breathless, just...lost, all over again...

If I care it's because I care but my intentions aren't pure, if I don't care, then I'm an idiot...I seriously don't understand! I'm giving the time it was asked but somehow it's my fault ot saying a thing!

I'm tired, exhausted, it's always the same thing all over again and I feel dumb, an idiot, stupid as hell...

I'm tired feeling like this, I want to disapear and come back as a new person, with no viciouse demons, with no sorrow or sadness or regret!

I just...nothing...

Head, Heart, Expectation and Action

Heart: I want to be with him...

Head: What are you? An idiot?

Heart: No...I just want to be able to tell him I want to be with him, hold him, kiss him, who knows?

Head: I do! Stay quiet in your corner as always!

Action: Why won't you send him a message?

Heart: Good idea!

Head: Terrible idea!

Action: Message sent...

Expectation: I'm so high!

Action: Message recieved "You are an idiot! I don't care about you, I never did and I never will!"

Heart: Why am I so stupid?! I should've never tell you to send it, Action...

Head: It's confirmed, you ARE an idiot! What have I told you?

Heart: To not send the message...

Head: And to you, Action?

Action: To not listen to Heart...

Head: Expectation?...

Expectation: To keep it low...

Head: So why all of you idiots keep doing what Heart tells you to do? Haven't the girl suffered enough already?

Heart, Action and Expectaion: Yes...

Head: So why???

Heart: Because I have faith...

Head: You know that's stupid! You should listen to me when I tell you to be rational! Do you like being hurted?

Heart: No...

Expectation: Heart, why do you keep ignoring what Head tells you?! I'll leave this conversation...I'm reduced to nothing...

Action: I'll just keep wating for the strongest of the two of you who stay to give me the order...Expectation, you are free and wellcome to come back anytime you want!

Luto

Hoje, a tua ausência magoa-me...

Tento não pensar muito em ti, porque fazê-lo é arrancar memórias do meu pequeno baú, memórias de quando fui uma menina feliz e brincalhona, de alma saudável e de olhos cor de mar...

Os meus olhos abandonaram a cor do mar e tomaram a cor da chuva desde que partiste...

Dizem-me que, passados tantos anos, não fiz ainda o luto da tua partida e que isso não é normal...Normal? Deixar-te? Não, nunca! Desde o dia em que o teu corpo deu o último sopro que és o meu anjo da guarda, aquele a quem a avó me ensinou a rezar quando era pequenina.

Por estranho que pareça, nunca esqueci o teu cheiro, o teu colo, a tua pele queimada pelo sol...mas esqueci-me da tua voz, do teu sorriso...e eu não quero perder a tua memória, a minha infância...Querem obrigar-me a fazer luto de quem me educou, de quem me amou e partiu e que deixou nada mais do que um buraco negro na minha alma...

O meu coração tornou-se negro, o teu sorriso desvaneceu-se e a tua voz silenciou-se. Sinto a tua presença à minha volta quando te chamo, quando acordo lavada em lágrimas depois de sonhar que te abraço e que não te quero largar...O sonho é sempre o mesmo e tu, apaziguador, dizes que nunca me deixaste e que nunca me deixarás.

Tento não pensar muito em ti, mas a tua morte foi algo tão chocante que me marcou e não me quero esquecer de ti, não me quero desprender das tardes no quintal, dos assobios, do orgulho espelhado no teu rosto quando passeavas comigo e dizias sorridente "Esta é a minha neta!".

Tenho saudades tuas avô...tantas...

Quem é bom e puro, parte cedo demais, deixando para trás apenas memórias que, de tão felizes que foram, magoam relembrar. Magoa pensar que se foi tão feliz e que se andava de cabeça erguida, com uma gargalhada no coração...

A vida prega-nos partidas, e a tua partida foi a maior delas todas...

Tenho saudades tuas.

Shhhh

Shhhh!

There's a secret deep within this heart, 

A secret that these lips won't break

So soft, so quiet

So loud and insane...

The moon knows it

And so does the sea

The only one who doesn't

It's you even when you look at me

The howl in my chest,

The wolves are awaiting

The moon is theire Mistress

She is theire awakening

The sea revolves in shadows

Of blood, defeat and war

My devils keep me safe

Of all the things that I don't want

This secret is like a child

Pure, simple and small

The more the time passes,

The more it grows strong

Tonight I'll lock it in

I'll dig a hole where it won't make a sound

Someday "I'll hunt for you with bloody feet

Across the hollow'd ground "

Howl

Florence + The Machine - Howl


If you could only see the beast you've made of me
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free
Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart
drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart

My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in
You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl
My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in
You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to

Howl, howl
Howl, howl

Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground

like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you tear out all your tenderness

And howl, howl
Howl, howl

Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
Hunters, hunters, hunters
Hunters, hunters, hunters

The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress
Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'd ground

And howl

Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night
May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright

If you could only see the beast you've made of me
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground