She ran into the woods. Ran as she had never had ran in her life before and got to the heart of the forest, in a little meadow where the sun was kissing the the tiny wild flowers.
Gasping, she took her shoes off and with her bare feet felt the dead leaves in her skin.
She found a huge, solid tree and sat with her back against it, calming her breath down, trying to make her heart stop from jumping so much.
A bit more calm and relaxed, she took a deep breath and tasted the air around her, so sweet, so pure and clean. In the middle of the Summer, she could afford to spend large hours away from everything, from everyone.
With her eyes closed for a moment, she focused on the birds singing, the light noise of the leaves in the trees, talking to each other, almost like a thousand whispers, soft, gentle and friendly.
When she opened her eyes, she stared at all of that beauty around her, and focused on the colours. "Forget the names of the things, the names of the colours, the names of the shapes...Enjoy it without any limitation or made ideas, without any bounderies!", she told herself. What she saw, from the minute she could disconect herself from all of these ideas, was pure magic. The sounds became clearer, the colours became more bright, the air sweeter and she felt as light as she had never felt before.
Life would be so much easier if she could just enjoy things like the ones she had in front of her in that precise moment, but again, her life was ugly, with no colour...her past was a huge black sopt, full of loses, regreats, disapointment...all she wanted was a tiny little bit of happines, like that moment.
Alone, with no dark thoughts, no broken heart, no sorrow nor pain, she allowed herself a secret thought that she never allowed herself to have often...him. That was the perfect place to do it. A place where light is everything, where the the air itself is music...And so, she allowed herself to think about his beautiful smile, his perfect body kissed by the sun, tall and strong as the tree she was sat against, his cozy neck where she could see the vein pulsing sometimes, his big safe hands...The kind eyes of a small prince with a heavy soul but somehow forgiveness and so much kindness in his heart...The soft hair, touched by the most pure of silks known by Men...
She stayed like that for a moment, dreaming at sunlight, but she shutted down the dream as quickly as it came. She knew she couldn't have him, it was a foolish, childish dream. So she said goodbye to that vision, shutted down his laughter, his voice from her memories. Got everything about him gathered again and putted it again where it was in the begining, it the corner of her mind that she locks with a thousand keys, the tiny little space that's growing more and more every day that it goes by.
In that magical place, she made a promiss to herself, a promiss that this time, she would kept with all of her heart and strength: "I will burry EVERYTHING about my past, forget who I was, the monster I became and I will look to the futer with new eyes, I'll allow myself to be happy, whatever life has to offer me, I will have it, open hearted and with open arms."
She didn't knew it by then, but this promiss would change her life forever.
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